I don't want to hate you!

It was never a good memory. Even if I see one, it's attached to some bad memory. It's said that one can't hate someone unless s/he love that person; but love is the person's quality who is loving, and not of the beloved. We went to Puri, to complete my mother’s mannat at Jagannath temple. It was the third day of my marriage in puri, on the return from the temple my new wife suddenly went to reception and asked for another room. I paid money at reception for the new room, and I don’t want to force anything on her. This started my parents to panic, and they said they will return, leaving us alone. She created a ruckus at the hotel. The next day morning, she went to the beach alone, but I just followed. My mother called her for breakfast, but she denied it. Later, when my mom said, they will call her parents than she came back and said, she won’t eat oily stuff and needed cornflakes. I even arranged for the same. I planned to return to Ranchi, as we had plans for Asansol. But she said, she will go to Asansol. We went to Deoghar for a visit to Satsang and my sister’s son Mundan. One morning at Deoghar hotel, I tried kiss-waking up my partner to get a tight slap in the face. That day I received 4 slaps and on the other hand, I am receiving a call from my mother, "why aren’t you coming, are you a wife’s puppet"? Nevertheless, she blamed things on her period that day and by the way, it was me who washed her blood from the bed. In the end, she was saying that her friend was telling her that I was making fun of her period before my family. On the last day, she came back to my room and said sorry, and things went normal and went back to Asansol. We had planned our trip to Char Dham from Asansol. She behaved ideally in Char Dham. She was annoyed at times because of the early wake-up and even cried when my father told her to wake up early. On our last day in Rishikesh, my mom asked her to buy gifts for her house, but she denied it. Later, when I asked personally, she said, she didn’t have money and that she has given some for the trip to mom when asked. I asked my mom personally if she should just give me some money in her hand. When they were searching for ATM, she got the idea that I have told my mom about our discussion and started shouting at me. She said, I’m aged, and I should marry someone of my age in front of everyone at the store. My parents tried to calm her down, but she was adamant. At the station, she sat on a different seat than my parents and when I tried to sit next to her, she told a guy not to move from beside her, yet I manage to just sit next. On the train, she went to a different berth saying she went for a charger when the plug point was even in our berth. She started shouting at me that I should do a second marriage, in front of everyone on the train. On arrival at Ranchi, we thought she would stay but she told me on the train that she wants to directly go to her parents. My mother agreed and requested her siblings to come and take her. When they arrived, my mother was told everything that has happened with a heavy heart. She started crying and we went to her house as a married couple, but she was angry at me saying, I tell everything to my mother. I told her, that I never told them anything bad and that I’ll try not to tell. After a couple of days, I returned but she didn’t. Meanwhile, I sent even my sister to bring her, when I was sick, but when she came, she started to mock me. At midnight, she came to me and beat me saying she would have slept better at home and didn’t let me sleep for a while at midnight. The following morning, she went to her lab and my father offered to leave her at a bus stop. After some time, she did return, but only my mother used to live with me this time. But fast forward a few weeks, she again beat me on the pretext that I’ve ruined her life and Ritwik would have been better. The next day morning, we had the plan to go to her house for fathers’ day, but I denied going and stopped taking calls from her parents’ home. My mother intervened and ordered me to go by asking her sibling to pick me up. I didn’t say anything about the beating to either her family or my parents this time. When we returned to attend my father’s ISM alumni meet, my father stayed over. I went to the drawing room to sleep, but she grabbed me with my collar, closed the door and started beating me because of the ruckus I created. That day she beat me for three hours and when I cried, she covered my mouth and she threaten that she will kill herself if I tell my parents. In the end, she just hugged me and told me the matter is sorted. On the third day, she went to her lab early morning. It was Bharat band and my sister said she didn’t go to her lab, instead her parents' house. I said I don’t want to hear this, so what if she went to her parent's house? She said, they never stopped her from going but she should at least tell the truth about where she is going. She gave me a number to ask the CUJ security guard about the bus. The security guard said that the bus didn’t come, and he later accepted he was wrong. She video-called me, and I showed my parents that indeed she was in CUJ. Overall, she got angry with my parents and threatened that she will come and beat me, over which I tripped and shouted at my parents. My sister took offence and went to the office. As I was going back home from my sister’s house, I felt fear of staying with her alone and I came back to see my mother saying, she wouldn’t stay with me ever. It was at that moment I told my family everything about domestic violence. I requested my parents and sister to go to her house and tell their family, about it. I had to go to the doctor and was prescribed anxiety medication and sleeping pills. With the fear of future abuse, my parents fixed the CCTV camera at our home. The girl came back with the family crying and begging to be united. Her father asked her to give a promise on his head to not beat. She stayed back and started behaving ideally. She even ate chicken, being vegetarian. I was still fearing and wasn’t ready to be together so booked tickets to Bangalore. My sister was like she will eat potty if you say, take her to Bangalore with you and she started scolding me like anything. I still went. After landing in Bangalore, my anxiety increased and I thought, I’m doing something wrong to leave her so early in my marriage. A couple of weeks later my parents came to Chennai and brought me back. I came on the condition that we go for marriage counselling. They left us alone at home. She was behaving ideally, until one day, I saw her phone and saw pictures of I love Virkeshwar, just a month before we met and got engaged. I went to her and asked if the marriage was forced on her. Upon which she again beat me, on the pretext that she promised to only not slap. Later she took my phone and went to my parent's room to post-mortem my phone. I gave her my passcode. After a few minutes, she saw a video of me seeing porn (which was an online phishing attack). I explained everything, yet she packed her clothes and went outside on road for catching a train. I followed her. She stopped the auto and wanted to get in and I requested not to. Upon which people gathered and she started saying that I was trying to kill her dad. Even the police came by to intervene and finally I gave up, I returned home, and she accompanied me. But she got conscious this time as her father told her, I had a single scratch, he will do whatever he wanted. I was so fearful, that I closed myself up inside the door but she beat the door wildly with a chair. I had to open it, and she took my phone and went to her college. I thought, telling my parents didn’t help, this time I’ll see without telling. But one day my sister asked me about the scratch on the door and I just texted her that she is asking. Somehow she assumed, I told her everything. That day, despite receiving her with a kiss she was trying to fight and this time, I was like, she is beating me because I’m not fighting back. So, whenever he beat me, I gave her some punch back. But of course, mine would be harder. There was a time when she would miss throwing chappals at me and I wouldn’t count that. But she never stopped, and I had to call her parents and begged to them to come so that fight could stop they said they are coming but they didn’t. At last, all the neighbours called my parents to come and look for the fighting. They video-called us and asked us to switch on the video camera. She pretended to be become normal, over which they went back to sleep. A few minutes later, she again switched off the cameras and started beating me and the neighbour furiously called my parents to come. They finally came and she stopped fighting. I wore a full shirt so that my parents don’t see my bruised and she did the same. I asked her to tell my parents everything, and only then I’ll take her to the UK; to which she told me, if I said, she wouldn’t be able to come with me to the UK. My parents were already against me taking her and so I decided to keep silent. She told my parents that I always shout at her and all. Later my mom found my broken chain, yet she just agreed to what she said. We caught the train to New Delhi that day and she was hugging my parents and crying that they stay with them. After the train left, she went to another person’s seat and slept. I was so terrified that, when another person asked me to move her, I asked him to tell her instead, but then I made the move. Seeing I made the bed in the middle seat, she asked me to move up, as her name was for that seat. I took the bed and moved up. In the morning, she started scratching me, saying I have created bruises all over her body. I said, even I have and I felt bad after beating her and I’m not that person. She kept on beating her so much that a person on the side, started making her video and asked her to behave, over which she said I being an NRI make sex videos of her to sell on the internet and who else puts the camera in bedroom and shouted at them to keep quiet. A lot of people, including travel attended signalled me to come and meet them yet I ignored them. The train was late and the whole time she was curing me for it. She told me, it was my parents who created friction between us and that she will not be like this in the UK, and said I should never allow my parents to come over there or else she will beat me. At that time, I told her, if she beat me, despite my parents not being in the UK, I would not tolerate and she waved off as if that is the reason. As the train become late, she started scolding me that I would have booked a flight for my family and upon reaching Delhi, she said, she will stay at the station, and I would too. I tried everything but she didn’t agree to go. At last, she said, to fell on my feet to ask and I did that too. She said she fell for at least 15 min in front of me. I said, I never asked her to, and I just needed time to overcome my fear of her. A lady beside her told, her not to take sin from her husband and she agreed to go. On reaching the hotel she was again furious but then she managed to hug our differences and I did so, as I was feeling bad about beating her and I promised myself that I’m not that person and I’ll not engage in such beating which I fear was life-threatening for me. She was not ideal at the layover airport in Qatar, which I told her already, yet I oversee all those things and my sister in Birmingham came to receive us in Manchester, and I went to Glasgow to search for a house. Upon house confirmation, I took back her to our new house. Things were ideal for a week until one day I saw the moving darling and fear kicked in. I told her I’m not feeling bad and let’s go to the city. She said, she would go only if I said I love you to her. I said, I just saw the movies and things are very green and how can I say now? She started saying that Ritwik would have been a better husband and then asked me again and in reply, I said, ‘I love Akrishta,’  to which she went to bed and apparently went to sleep. After some time, I went out and told her that I’m going. While in the city centre, I received her call saying where am I? I said I’m in the city centre and will return now but it will take time as I’m walking. She became angry, started scolding me and said, she didn’t do anything and I’m behaving like this, and in return, she will start beating me. I said to her, I just went out to clear my mind, and I have not treated her badly and would never do ever. She constantly started calling and nagging and upon return, threw me on the bed and started scratching. I didn’t fight back as I already promised myself not to do it again. After some time, she became conscious that she has done something wrong and started taking the phone from me. I didn’t take any action and was somehow able to convince her that I’m not going to do anything about informing them and went to sleep. We didn’t eat that night. The next day morning, she followed me to my lab. I took her to a canteen for food. As I was returning to walking, she left aback and she called my eldest sister that I’m walking, rather than the bus, and when she called me, I said that I’m doing so because she beat me last night. My sister asked her to stay in a different room till she come. She didn’t and came to my room and try to hug out and I said, just hugging won’t solve a problem like she used to do at the end of 2 continuous night beating in Ranchi. The next day morning at 6 am, she just kicked me out of bed and said I deserve it. I beg for sleeping more as we slept very less last night, yet she didn’t agree. Next, I called my sister, and she called her back. While she was busy talking, I dressed and went to my lab. From the lab, I requested my sister to come on the same day. At night she came and separated us into two rooms. After 2 days, she organised a meeting to give each other a second chance, on the condition that she doesn’t beat me ‘in any form.’ She said, she stopped slapping and biting, next thing, she will stop is scratching but can’t control herself when triggered. My brother-in-law said, there is always going to be fought between husband and wife and if that triggers you, physical violence can be life-threatening and so she must stop any violence in any form and she can even throw a glass and say, she didn’t promise for that. She didn’t agree. The next day, she came over and said she agreed not to do violence in any form, but when my brother-in-law asked to record it, she denied it. After a while, my sister got conscious that why she is not able to understand this simple thing. I called her dad and told him about her beating even in the UK when my parents are not there. Her dad said that I took her to the UK and so I should return her and he can transfer money for the ticket, which I denied. Meanwhile, my PhD was not over yet, and this caused an issue and I planned our return to India. I needed to wait a while to sort this issue and so my sister asked her to go to Birmingham for a while, as things are not sorted. From there they went to India.

The day I fall for her...

It's a good memory; probably the best till date; then why would somebody want to ruin it? I don't know what ruined things between us -  I'm still searching even if I'm sure, I'll not be able to find it! It was such a beautiful start on a Friday night with seafood. And then we just clicked - yes we did! You mixed and matched items and introduced me to the lovely street-food. Although I'm a big fan myself in India but was scared to try due to a friend's company; but when you arrived in my life's journey, things changed! I had a companion - who is a true copy - who feels the same way - who is the one -  and what not. Whatever I say now will be less as the feeling of connection will always have linguistic constraints. I love each moment of time that I spent with you - each second was magical in it's own world. You agreed to follow us the next day. It was such a great feeling to be your cushion. Nobody has yet cleaned my face with tissue. I know, it's a small thing but it's not - at least for me. People say, it's a small world - NOOO - it's a lost world. People can get lost. They meet and the very next moment they are gone. I tried and failed to restore, but I can't regret that I didn't try and what if I tried. Life is not fair always and it's ok not to be. People start living for whatever share of fairness they have. That feeling of click may be of 2 days but at least it came to me. Buddha said, the basis of happiness is affliction. The affliction that I have received after parting from you will either give me more happiness in future or it will always remain an un-quenched thrust. The idea of Buddha in telling this story was not to go after such things but, what can I do, I'm just a human being - a mere imperfect animal; otherwise I would have been a Buddha! The following night when I did what you said, you said that changed your perspective about me and that's why the next morning, even when you were very tired, you agreed to come along and I respect that; and I too returned as quickly as possible so that you don't stretch! I know I didn't do much for you that day as my friend got annoyed with me and you said me previous night that you were joking for getting married tomorrow. If I ask for anything, that will be very less. I'll just keep the earring which has touched your ears and try to speak to it, so that someday; you listen to me. My heart urns to think this way but it's the realty giving a tight slap on the face. Probably, I should take it as a dream world - it's just that I can't forget after I wake up. But you were the real gem that I lost. May you always be playful and get another punching bag. Chaah... Chaah.. Chaah... Why not?

Are you ready to go? Here comes, Datsun redi-GO!

I have often been asked by my friends to help them the car that suits them the most. Being a recent car enthusiast, I have often kept my eyes open for the new arrivals and their differentiating features. This time, Datsun redi-GO has its way towards my research. The impression made by it so much so, that I wanted to share the product differentiation that it has created in the market. The love and longingness for the product can be seen from the customer response and people talking about it. This buzz in the market is all through the word of mouth.

Small car catches the crowd the most, may it be due to the huge middle class population that is present in India or the people in India avoiding the heavy traffic. Datsun redi-GO becomes the apt choice now, due to its the supporting the features that acts as an perfectly married add-on. Amongst those, I'll mostly talk about the three main features that differentiate it from the same class of car and they are its high ground clearance, its engine and finally its daytime running lamps. All these three features have been questioned earlier in all the small cars but where never aptly answered. Datsun redi-GO has been very specific to target these expectations from the crowd, making them speechless!

Its often a problem with the small cars that they don't have a good ground clearance and specially in a country like India, where roads are always a concern, this becomes a hinderance in picking a small car for rural areas. Datsun redi-Go provides best in class, ground clearance of 185 mm, allowing a very low obstacles to deal with. This is a great deal from technological point of view also, as one being a small car, the stability is always a question, yet Datsun redi-GO has enough stability as compared to any car on the similar lines.

Datsun redi-GO has a i-SAT engine, which by name itself implies an intelligent Spark Automated Technology. Based on the fuel quality and power requirement, it automatically adjust the spark timing. This not only makes the performance, smooth and knocking free; but also enables a high fuel efficiency of approximately 25.17 kmpl. This is one of the best milage in the industry standard amongst the car that falls in the same bucket.

Finally, the daytime running laps, gives a cool impression to people. Moreover, it has a not-to-mention, an added safety advantage. This is a new feature that Datsun redi-GO has exclusively introduced. The new cars now, will be seen coping the same as the responses has been great in this regard. However, presently, Datsun redi-GO is the only choice available in this arena.

To conclude, Datsun redi-GO is an awesome package in itself. I'm ready to go the Datsun redi-Go way, are you? No doubt, many Datson redi-GO running in the roads soon, flooding the traffic!

Fun. Freedom. Confidence. The ultimate Urban Cross - Datsun redi-GO - the capability of a crossover with the convenience of a hatchback.

The Real Togetherness

The real joy of togetherness is subjective, yet many will reach consensus that the love for nature brings always us together. Yet, I would like to present my thought on the same and try to create an aura of understanding that I have developed over a period of time, seeing the a very different generation in my childhood days and now.

To answer the really subjective question of real joy of being together, I would like to refer to one of the video shared by Kissan, embedded below:

The video give a very deep lesson for the society and suggest a way to socialise. The virtual world has given us a big escape from the real time opportunities. People feel much better in the virtual world. They stay what they want to be without being judged. People are forming community but the campaign raised remain virtual. Nobody works real time to bring the real change - the real togetherness!

In the last post, I wrote about StayZilla, where the innovation was created to socialise the virtual people. Kissan has given a innovative tool to the society to connect together. It is said, people work only if there is some platform and reason for doing so.

Nature is a part and parcel of one's life. The real joy of togetherness for me is the quality time spend in person with the people who have impact on your life. Since, I'm a 90's kid, I do had a real life and hence the real joy in my terms. I remember working on doing horticulture. At least, I had a house with empty land around to grow my hobby plants.

I guess, now the dilemma of virtual vs real has now being being answered. People have now started recognising the importance of connecting in the real time. One whoever have watched the above video, will always appreciate the value of getting connected. Moreover, the importance of nature is a link of doing so. It is the nature earth, that we all share. Nature doesn't discriminate amongst us.

Moreover, people will not understand the importance of something, unless and until they have it. Since people are satisfied under the blanket of virtual world, they don't know the real joy of togetherness. People have created artificial nature, but still there is nothing anything close to as refreshing as the breeze of real mother nature.

At last, not least, I would like to motivate people to be together, at least for the mother nature and I guarantee the real joy. People can only survive being in a society and it is the society that provides us with various ways to enjoy life.

For more fun, visit: http://www.kissanpur.com/

Stayzilla - A new way to socialize

Internet is said to create a new world for human beings. This so called virtual world is so addictive that it has give a whole new face to escape from day to day life. People are missing out various opportunity to exchange experience on face-to-face basis.

Stayzilla has tried to use the virtual world to connect people. There has been a lot of advertisement which ask people to disconnect to connect. The addiction of virtual world has made people to miss out a lot of opportunity that pass by, in front of eyes. The irony of Stayzilla is that it has used the virtual platform to create some real life connection. This kind of connection has enormous impact as its scalable and people are able to reach people who don't have any connection in between like that of used in lead generation in case of LinkedIn.

The Stayzilla app is a feather touch steering of a Mercedes and move with your hand in line with you and hacks into the mind of traveller. You needn't login to search your abode for stay. Stayzilla, based on the the input given about oneself, finds out the perfect matching profile of stay through it's roboust underwriting. There is also an option to make new buddies who matches your interests. This can further lead to the traveller and his buddy to share a room at stayzilla hotel and splitting the amount, making the stay more affordable too. At last, not least, one can take souvenir for his/her staybuddy.

The front look of the app is so simple and apt that it tempts you to surf through. The text distribution and tabs are available for all possible requirement, which doesn't make you go to desktop website for certain functionality.

So, used the Stayzilla app and #StayConnected #StayZilla

Being #together

I live in Delhi-Sonepat Highway, the so called NH1. Believe me, it’s more boring that what it sounds. One find day, at my flat, there was a Notice put up by the Residence Welfare Association about a 6 hours power cut. Being first time to National Capital Region, makes me often wonder, what to do and what not, as you don’t know the city. Suddenly, my cell rang up. It was my childhood friend. Thank God, you truly are omnipresent! I rushed to take bath and started with no delay to Connaught Place. We finally met at Palaki Bazaar. It’s quite rejoicing when you suddenly meet your childhood friend at once; especially when there is 6 hours power cut at your flat. My friend is very practical guy. Our meet, mostly end up a monologue from his side towards life and inspirations, but believe me, I love it and I live it to the fullest.

Finally, he asked me if I would like to drink tea. I’m not much of tea guy previously, but Delhi has made me one tea fanatic. He took me to the Chawri Bazaar to a shop, which was too remote. I was very surprise by his choice initially, but when I drank the tea, I knew, what it actually was! I have never ever in my life, ever drank such tea. I have gone places and drank the so called “special tea,” but it was literally a special one. It is rightly said, sometimes, you don’t need any advice, a tea suffice to all. It stimulates everything inside you. If it is good, its mind blowing and removes each and every thought process, and further, above all, when it is with your best friend, it’s just and Buddha Enlightenment, the so called “Nirvana.”

We ended up drinking more than two cups of tea. When the tea is good, you can’t remember the number of cups, and especially when, your friend pays for it! We continued talking and this time, the whole argument went about politics. It’s quiet strange, we always start taking about our own life and then end up discussing other’s life – a phenomenon, so obvious, but never comprehendible.

Although, I have spent many a times with my many friends, but this turns out to be the best amongst those. Precisely because, it gave me lot of optimism that was required by me for the moment, especially when you stay alone for the first time. A small chit chat over tea sometime, matters more than spending whole day, doing fun things, with hell lot of good friends. I call it, ‘The Tea Tweak of Optimism.’ A lot of things can happen over tea also!

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Studying language reveals the structure of mind!

Language is the strongest tool to put forth your thoughts and I feel it does reveal a lot about the speaker. In intra-language communication, when one has exact words to express our thought, the body language radically changes & so does the confidence level. It is seen people with a command on a language, on vocabulary and delivery, are not only able to speak better but also comprehend better because they have a language to assist their thoughts.

Language does shape the way we see the world, the way we think. So not only it helps in expressing our thoughts, it many a times constraints them too. This is where we need to observe people who are bilingual/ multilingual. When speaking of inter-language interaction, people who speak more than one language can generally articulate better. This might be because they have more words and tones for expression. For example, my Nepali friend uses different words for exclaiming in different situation like “achu” on touching something too hot, “attu” when she’s too cold. In Hindi belt, generally the expression is “ahh” for exclaiming. Using such words also form the part of the language you speak. One might conclude, Nepalese is more expressive than Hindi, and so might be the people. Japanese speaker would be more sound oriented, English speaker more tone oriented.

If we compare the use of language to say a working of a computer, language requires real time mapping between words and meanings. It’s like you hear a sentence, nerves take it to the brain, then looks for meaning of the word, then the formulation of sentence, tries to draw inference from its stored knowledge and then accordingly creates a picture in the mind. The process is too quick and shows the structure of the mind. People who know more than one language have thus a larger data to retrieve information and to picture it.

Language does tell us a lot about the mechanism of mind and seen that our ability to think both emotionally and logically is very much dependent on the kind of language we use.

There is no specific domain for the expression of language. Two person can speak the very same expression with a much distinct representation. The way one expresses the thought, often reveals the way, s/he is thinking. Even the same sentence spoken by a person can actually differ in the way it is expressed. However, at times, we often find some people to be over-expressive and certain people to be monotonous. This can be justified by taking his or her attitude towards the subject under conversation. This leads us to visualize language as the complex mixture of thinking and emotions. Thus considering all the three major functions viz. cognition, feeling and volition. This provides the tick to checkpoint for a way to understand, how a mind is structured.

If one inquiries into the reading habits of a person, one finds, a certain type of people, reads the sentence and then hear it and thereby recognize the meaning. Another set of faster reader, reads the sentence in mind and then captures the meaning of the sentence. But, there also exist a much faster reader, who out of vision of looking at the sentence phrases, recognizes its meaning. This trend shows that our mind is trained to look at a particular sound or symbol and relate it to particular image in the mind. A person who is impaired to do such a matching suffers from dyslexia. It’s more like developing an understanding of dependent variable based on the knowledge of independent variable. Now, suppose a person has matched a particular set of symbols to an image in mind and now that he articulates what s/he is thinking, s/he is basically converting is image of thought in mind to this set of predefined symbols. Thus, in a way we are able to capture the structure of flow of thought in mind. However, a strong critique of it could be that, due to language, a particular person is trained to think in those directions. Given the free will of mind, one may choose to think differently, but due to conformity problems, one has to give up his/her own way of thinking. This is quite observed when an amateur SVO person, trained in SOV, is asked to converse in SVO. S/he often end up distorting the SVO into SOV. This is because, s/he is not initially coming up with his/her own mother tongue and then translating it to the foreign language; rather s/he is directly converting his thinking into the words of foreign language and that s/he is trained to think in SOV lines. Still, we can bit by bit generalize some universal grammar; which is quite an insightful in providing a major way in which one’s mind is structured, leaving aside the free will freedom.